Posts Tagged With: anxiety

Remember this day… a note to myself

This morning I awoke at 5am (I blame that last mug of tea just before bed!). Both children were still sleeping soundly. The night had been unbroken. I’d even managed to be in bed before 11pm. But then my brain started whirring and I couldn’t get back to sleep. Panic set in. My plan for a better night’s sleep was being ruined. Precious minutes of rest were ebbing away. Today would be unbearable. I may as well give up before I even start, I thought.

But I didn’t give up. Today I fought back against my lately negative mindset. And despite a bit less sleep – actually not that much less given the earlier night – today has been a success. And before I forget this and slip back into bad habits, I want to make sure I remember this day.

So here’s a reminder…

Remember this day

When you assume, before the sun’s even risen, that the day ahead will be a disaster, remember this day.

When you think you’re going to be far too tired to face the day ahead, remember this day.

When you’re laying awake in bed worrying that you won’t be good enough for them, remember this day.

When you fear you won’t be able to stay smiling and cope with the seemingly endless cycle of dirty nappies (a ridiculous five poos today!) and toddler toilet trips. And those little accidents (baby boy gave himself a good soaking mid-change today!), remember this day.

When your timings fly out of the window because of the above but yet everyone survived things running a bit late, remember this day.

Remember how you just got on with it, trying not to over analyse things or panic when they didn’t go entirely to plan. Remember how much easier life felt in this mindset.

When you convince yourself it would be easier to just stay at home rather than face the stress and hassle of getting two little ones out, remember this day.

Remember how good it felt to walk out in the crisp, clear sunshine. Remember how much better the fresh air made you feel and how much healthier it was for all three of you to be outside. And you knew then that, despite the struggles, you were doing your very best for your little family. Remember how calming it was to get out of the house, away from the clutter and chores.

When you choose to prioritise non-essential household admin over having fun with your toddler, remember this day. Remember getting her little pink scooter out for the first time in months and enjoying playing outside with her on it while her baby brother slept. Remember your first-born basking in the unbroken attention of her mummy, who she now has to share with a sibling.Remember her happy little face and gleeful shouts. Remember how laughing and being a bit silly made you feel re-energised and upbeat.

When you next dread that said toddler is getting ever closer to dropping her afternoon nap and you fear you won’t cope when she does, remember this day. Remember how not making her have a nap today did not cause a nervous breakdown. Remember how you trusted your true instincts on this and how everyone had a nicer afternoon as a result.

When you tell yourself that you can’t possibly juggle meeting the needs and demands of a toddler and baby at the same time as preparing an evening meal, remember this day.

And, most importantly, when you’ve forgotten to take a step back and look on in pride at the two little people you have created and nurtured, remember this day. Remember how special and brilliant they are. Take a good helping of credit for this. Stop beating yourself up and enjoy life. Enjoy them, always.

Remember that things are very rarely – if ever – as bad as you think they might be. Remember this day. You are doing fine. And tomorrow you can do it all over again.

Image credit: freedigitalphotos.net/digitalart

I’m linking this post up with Word of the Week on The Reading Residence, my word being Remember.

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

Categories: Mind matters, Motherhood | Tags: , , , , | 22 Comments

Word of the Week #8

I’m cheating just a little bit with my Word of the Week selection. I’d like to say my choice sums up how the whole of the last seven days have felt but it doesn’t. It has, however, been my mantra for the last two days and I’m aspiring for it to stay front of mind as we enter a new week. So, without further ado, my word is:

Word of the Week - Calm

The first five days of this week I felt anything but calm. I am by nature a worrier and this week I let myself get wound up into a tighter and tighter ball of anxiety until I felt miserable and drained of energy. Catching Little Miss’s latest cold/cough hasn’t helped but much of my exhaustion was caused by my own racing mind. Everything feels so much harder when you’re stressed and have got into a negative mindset (I really must remember this!).

Friday saw my mood take a roller-coaster ride. Despite starting off well, I unravelled into a blind panic around lunch time. I got myself back on track by blitzing the house while Little Miss had her afternoon nap, which made me feel better for most of the evening, before the final tearful plunge came just before bed. Basically I was just too tired and anxious. But ironically my mood meant I couldn’t relax and ended up delaying sleep further until the early hours! And that was when I decided enough is enough.

On Saturday morning I made a conscious decision to force myself to try to relax, adopt a more positive mindset and just stay calm. I accepted my husband’s offer to take Little Miss out with him for a few hours while I chilled out at home on my own, catching up with Twitter and laying in bed. We then had a relaxed afternoon out in town, followed by good food and a film at home. I got to bed earlier, read a book (instead of my phone!) and enjoyed another lay in this morning – if you call 8am a proper lay in, these days anything later than 6.30am is considered good!

Today we’ve had another quieter day, staying at home, pottering around and getting a few key things off the ‘to-do’ list. And again I’ve made a conscious decision to watch my reactions and try to create as calm a mood as possible to set me up for the new week. So here’s hoping that calm remains my Word of the Week for the next seven days, at least until the next WotW post!

This post is part of the Word of the Week linky run by fellow blogger Jocelyn over at The Reading Residence. The idea is very simple, every week you come up with one word to sum up your week.

My previous words have been:

CanRelievedMidnight, HappyStickersProud and Spring.

The Reading Residence

Categories: Mind matters, Word of the Week | Tags: , , , | 12 Comments

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